FIRST DAY OF DADDY DUTY WITH BOTH MELENATED HEIRS. Babe had a job fair and I had to conquer ( In my head) 2 babies who wanted mommy as soon as they woke up. In reality King was very pleased with daddy time. Mar Mar on the other hand wanted mama and decided sleep was the quickest way to getting momma time. so she went right back in her room and passed out. Me and king watched Spider-Man and dead pool until it was time to get dressed. He picked his outfit out and was ready for the show. Mar wasn’t feeling me lol . She warmed up as she ate her food and then started watching tv with the fellas. after packing snacks it’s time for ko-thi dance practice and tryouts. I’m driving to some bumbling so a and African inspired music in an attempt to bring out the wakandian in mar mar. When i say it worked she out danced her entire class. Her face lit up as she saw both momma and me cheering her on like there was no tomorrow.
POPPA MELANIN’S HOW TO: Today’s focus word is patience. Coming into an established family and gaining the hearts and minds of both the woman and the kids is a job all in itself. When you factor in years of Eff Boys and unanswered promises and expectations it can be a lot. Remember patience is the word. Patience with our Queens so they can see the difference and the actions behind your words. Patience with the kids to allow them to work through those meltdowns so they can understand that you’re not just a figure but your present and not going anywhere. Even patience with yourself when you may want so much more then they are willing to give . Now I am speaking on patience but not giving examples.
Now doing these things won’t just build the bridge for the family it also teaches me more and more about the individuals in the village so I can better serve there needs at all time.
Recap of daddy’s first day alone. I’m DOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nah seriously to have earned their trust with only showing consistency and love has been a truly eye opening thing. I’m loving the ride but more then that loving all the melanin I’ve been blessed and charged with of molding and loving perfectly.
I’m sitting at work this afternoon thinking on a conversation me and the Mrs had the other day. She was laying next to me cuddled up and told me “ At times I feel like I’m not worthy of you and this loving”. To hear that really through me for a leap since she is single handedly the best woman i have ever had the pleasure of calling my own. So after hearing this i went straight into prayer to understand how that could be a thing. The answer came to me later as i was talking to an old h.s football team mate turned M.I.T ( Minister in training). He came into my place of employment and as we each are doing our jobs the spirit crept in and a very good conversation ensued.
Now let me premise this with some historical information to help you better understand the significance of this conversation.
As a man we are raised to be strong, not show any emotion etc, but to allow yourself to feel and be human and give your emotions a voice is necessary. My Queen doesn’t feel worthy because of the simple fact that people prior to me caused that emotional response to be the norm. I reaffirm her daily so that she knows she is, but that doesn’t erase the pain, heartbreak, objectifying, womanizing behavior she saw prior to me.
Men there are very simple things we owe our queens, especially coming into a situation where Men before us have caused some pain.
As Always Signing Out